Be Well Presents: A Coping Conversation - "Truth"

Are you in need of truth? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Anne, who shares her powerful story of finding her voice and telling her truth.

Kevin: Welcome. I'm Chaplain Kevin, and today I'm talking with Anne, who at a young age, discovered her voice through writing. While she fought for her own voice to be heard, she amplified the voices of others, and through it all, she began to live her truth. This is “Coping”. 

Kevin: Hi, Anne. Thank you so much for joining me today. I'm so excited to have you with me to hear more about your story.

Anne: Yeah. Thank you, Kevin. It's a pleasure to be here with you. Thank you. 

Kevin: Well, as I read your story, one of the main themes that came up for me was this idea of truth. What does the word truth mean to you? Well, I think it means letting my voice be heard. Where has truth and letting your voice be heard come up for you and your life? 

Anne: I think I discovered my truth and my voice, actually, when I was 16 years old, I got the idea or the gift to start writing poetry, and I just felt if I didn't write a poem a day, I would lose it. So I kept writing poetry and then eventually started publishing my work. And then I had a wonderful English teacher my senior year of high school and got me involved in writing for the student magazine. And then I got the idea to write to Irma Bombeck, the humorist, who was pretty popular at the time. And she actually lived in the next town over from me. She was writing columns for the newspaper Kettering Oakwood Times. And I thought, “Well, I'll write her a letter to see if I can.” You know, get some advice from her about writing. 

And surprisingly, she did write me back. She was very encouraging. She wrote you're on your way at 16? She goes, When I was your age, I couldn't write my name on my gym shorts. Oh, my gosh. And then she said, good luck and God bless Irma Bombeck. 

Kevin: And you still have the letter today?

Anne: I do. Yeah, I do. She still inspires me.

Kevin: Wow. So with so much positive feedback from your teacher, from the local newspaper, from this writer, what were your parents saying? What was their take on this whole writing thing? 

Anne: Well, it was really interesting because maybe this is what makes a writer. My parents weren't very communicative. We weren't taught or encouraged to share our feelings and our thoughts. And I was writing in a diary at that point too, all my thoughts and feelings. My parents were very kind of wonderful people, but very kind of stoic. And my father, having been a Marine and just kept a lot of his thoughts to himself. I mean, he was more physical and being a physical therapist, taking care of patients, and my mom was taking care of us, but communication wasn't something in our home. So I think my father was a bit just indifferent or didn't understand. 

And my mother, maybe she didn't understand what I was trying to do either and was a bit of a struggle because I felt like editors were hearing me, but not my own family.

Kevin: Wow. Where did your journey take you next? 

Anne: Well, I knew I wanted to go to a certain college because they had a good creative writing program there, and they had writers there, professional writers who were professors. Again, there was a little bit of opposition there. My father thought it was a party school. I didn't. That was the furthest thing from my mind. You know, I thought I was wanting to be a serious writer, and I wanted to learn from serious published writers who were farther along on their journey, I guess. And so my high school teacher, Mr. Keane, very much encouraged me. I think my mother must have convinced my father. So I was able to go to the college of my choice, and it was a dream come true to actually have an independent study set up for me where I could write 20 poems for the quarter and have a professor who could guide me. 

And then I had another wonderful professor, Byron Scott, who encouraged me to write articles. So it just was like another turning point for me, and he let me kind of come in through the back door and write for the Student Community magazine. I got to take some classes and started entering contests. I found out about the Mademoiselle Guest Editor Competition, whereas if you won, you got to spend a month in New York and work on the magazine. So I entered twice and got honorable mention. The second time, I really got into some journalistic stories writing about black lung disease, and I interviewed families in the Appalachia area, which was where my college was located, and also did another article about rape awareness on campus. And I learned so much. I learned to be a good journalist as well. Wow. I met my husband at the time in college. He was studying law, so we were both working really hard on our potential careers. And I always knew I really wanted to go to New York City. 

Anne: I felt like that was the place to be. That was the sort of. Magazine book publishing mecca, you know, of the country. And so first year of our marriage, I was in Cleveland. He was scared of taking the bar in New York City, so there was a little bit of some struggle there. And I had to fight for protecting my voice and wanting to continue and move forward with my career. So I finally convinced him to go. We loaded up all our stuff in a U Haul and drove to New York City. 

I'd always been drawn to health. I felt like I could help a lot of people writing articles about health. So when I was working at Ladies Circle magazine, we had a section of the magazine called Survival Stories, and it was about women who survived situations and learned to thrive. So I felt like being a writer, I could use my voice and express my truth. But I got a great deal of satisfaction in helping other women find their voices as well. To me, it was sort of a nice ripple effect. 

I not only could use my voice to help others, but encourage others to use their voice as well. We were really having a great time in New York City, and we moved to the suburbs, and I was still continuing to do my writing. And then we had another child. And all of a sudden my husband comes home one day and tells me we need to move. His company is moving us. And where were you guys moving to? To San Francisco. Clear across the country. Can't take the train into New York City anymore. It was quite a jolt because I thought, “Now what am I going to do to leave this mecca of the publishing world to go to San Francisco?” 

Anne: I thought< “What's in San Francisco for me?” And I tried to look at it like an adventure and with the kids, and I thought, “Well, maybe moving to California wouldn't be so bad, and I'll figure something out.” But in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, “Gosh, is this the end of my career? My voice? How am I going to be heard now?” So we ended up moving and and shortly after we moved, I had an agent contact me and he had seen my credentials in a directory that we put out through the American Society of Journalists and Authors. 

I got into that group, which was another wonderful acknowledgment of my voice. And then he asked me if I had any ideas and introduced himself. And I said, well, sure, yeah, I do have some ideas. So I told him about my book idea and he helped me write a book proposal, and lo and behold, we found a publisher. And so I ended up writing the book. But again, my voice was stymied because I had this book advance to write the book, but my husband started throwing a lot of concerns at me. “Well, who's going to take care of the kids? How are you going to get the time to write a book?” Blah, blah, blah. But thank God, I had a really good friend of mine whom I had to leave in New York, who told me, don't worry about anything. Write the book. 

Kevin: Why do you think your husband was expressing concerns? What was the basis of his concern?

Anne: Well, I really wish I knew. I always felt like if we helped each other, we both could be successful. And so, persevered. Anyway, I would take the kids to nursery school, a wonderful nursery school, which they enjoyed from nine to three. And during those hours, I would go be home writing like crazy. So nine to three was my time. Then I would pick my kids up from school, take them to swim lessons or their activities, bring them home, fix them dinner, put them to bed. And after they were in bed, my husband would come home from his work. 

So it was pretty much all on me, truly, the picture of a working mom. Yes, I was a working mom. I mean, times too, actually, I felt like I had double two jobs, double duty. But to me, I felt so strongly about being able to help women, and I felt by writing this book and helping them, that they could have their voice again. It was me wanting to make a difference in the lives of other women. At the time, I kept thinking, I'm just going to keep pushing and pushing, and he'll be proud of me, my father will be proud of me, my mom will be proud of me, everything will fall into place. And I was determined again to write this book, to have my voice be heard. So I got the galleys around Christmas time. My parents were visiting, and I was really excited about it. I thought, oh, now my dad will be proud of me. Now he'll maybe read the book and sort of understand what I'm all about and my mom. But for some reason, I didn't expect this from my father. But he started reading the galleys, got through like a page and said to me, “Did you have all your marbles when you wrote this?” 

And it felt like someone just took a gun and shot me through the chest. I was like. Almost paralyzed. I just I was just devastated.

Kevin: We'll be right back.

Today's episode is brought to you by Be Well Resources. Be Well is a wellness organization that provides mental and spiritual tools for whole person health. Be Well helps you develop your unique gifts and discover your calling. Follow us on Facebook or Instagram at Be Well Resources to take your next steps toward being well. 

Kevin: Welcome back. Can you tell me about the importance of continuing to tell your truth, letting your voice be heard in the midst of opposition? Why is that so important to continue to push and make sure that your voice is heard? 

Anne: I think it's important for women to let their voice be heard because we are worthy. And I think we need to stop believing whatever lies come our way from others because we are worthy. And each of us, I think, has a special gift. And we can't let our voices be silenced. Yes. So New Year's came and went, and I remember thinking the book was going to be published in January. Just feeling sort of this shadow of shame from what my father said, but hopeful that good things would come from the book. Lo and behold, it did. My book was excerpted in not just one edition of Reader's Digest, but three editions of Reader's Digest. Wow. In not only Reader's Digest in the US. But Great Britain and Canada and I ended up being on the Today show and several other TV shows and over 60 radio programs.

Kevin: Wow. So this highlight of being recognized by the Reader's Digest and being on the Today show, where did your journey take you next? 

Anne: I was still writing and still being mom, pretty much with all my kids activities. And then my husband tells me we need to move again, that there's a job opportunity in Dallas, Texas. So here we go again with more change. And I had no clue of Texas. We had visited his brother in Texas, but I thought, again, what am I going to do there? So we did move to Texas. And as I was wondering what am I going to do with myself, with my voice, I saw a little advertisement in the, I think, the Dallas Morning News about the Dallas Screenwriters Association. 

I didn't have a clue about writing screenplays, but I thought, oh, it's a writing group, so I'll join. So I started going to the meetings, learning about writing scripts, and it was like my passion was renewed again. I found the energy and passion for my voice again, and I just poured myself into it. 

Kevin: Wow. Being uprooted yet again. How do you know when to let your voice be heard, when to speak your truth? Put your foot down versus being accepting and trying to make the best of your circumstances?

Anne: Yeah, sure. I think it's listening to your heart. I mean, certain situations, sometimes you don't have much of a choice. But part of me as a writer is that sense of adventure, that sense of. New experiences to write about. And I thought, okay. So in the back of my mind, I'm like, maybe I need to just take a chance with this and see what new experiences I could write about, because I think, in a way, that made my voice stronger. 

Kevin: That's really good, Anne.

Anne: Thank you. So when we were in Texas, um, I was writing for The Dallas Morning News and writing screenplays. And then I got word that my father, who had Alzheimer's, was not doing very well. And I was going back there fairly often. So I did get to see him. But when I came back to Dallas, he had passed away. And that was a turning point for me. I felt like this heaviness had been somewhat lifted and a new window had opened. 

While I missed him, I felt this relief not to have to get his approval anymore. It was also a turning point in my marriage because I felt like my spouse and I were drifting apart, very involved in our careers at that point. The kids were off to college. We were empty nesters and I started thinking about California again, and especially Southern California, because I had gone there several times to visit my daughters. And I had started making connections with producers and writers groups. 

In my heart, I knew I was supposed to be there. Long story short, I loaded up my PT Cruiser with. Belongings and my three cats, my dog Charlie, and headed to California. And the apartment just happened to be a block from the ocean. 

Kevin: Wow. So you take this drive from Texas to Manhattan Beach, California. What happened when you got there?

Anne: I began getting established and was writing more and more screenplays and going to various workshops, and I was learning a lot, writing a lot. At this particular juncture, my daughter graduated, was working for ABC and becoming a producer. And eventually we thought, well, maybe we'll join forces here. She's a good storyteller. So we started working together a little bit, and currently we're marketing four screenplays, two romantic comedies, and two true stories, and we're hoping to get one or some of those produced at some point in the future. 

And I'm also writing a blog called The Other Side of Everything on Facebook, which is a series of essays. I've always loved writing essays. I've published essays. For me, that is the greatest form of using my voice because it is very personal. I tell personal stories, funny stories, inspirational stories, and I can offer my own thoughts and inspiration and encouragement to others and also thinking to attempt the last form I haven't yet, which is to write a novel. 

To be able to put all that together – the visual with poetry and screenwriting and the ability to do research, I think could all come together nicely and possibly a future novel.

Kevin: So, Anne, what do you say to others who may be struggling with speaking their truth and letting their voice be heard? What advice do you have for them?

Anne: I would say keep speaking up. Don't hide your voice. Don't hide your gift. It was given to you for a reason. You are worthy of it, and don't give that up for anybody. And I would say, immerse yourself in truth. For me, I have all these affirmations taped to my bathroom wall, and one of them is being a person of faith. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

And then I would say, surround yourself with positive voices, other people, friends that can be encouraging to you, who are for you, not against you, who understand your thoughts, who want to know your thoughts and feelings and encourage you that don't judge you. 

Just today, I ran across a quote by Brene Brown which really struck me. And she says in the quote, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else's survival story.” I think what we go through can have a ripple effect. It's like a stone tossed into a pond. And when we reach out and help others, then those others can also reach out and help even more people.

Kevin: Thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. We thank you for your voice, for being so strong and speaking your truth and the encouragement that you give for others to do the same. Thank you for sharing your story with us today.

Anne: Yeah, thank you very much, Kevin.